It’s something to do with him not wanting to do to us what was done to him and Aunty Penny,” I said.“That’s about it.”“But it hasn’t happened. Dad’s never done any stuff like that to us – ever. He’s never even hit us or anything. He’s not going to either. He’s just not like that.”“I’ve been telling your father that for years but he isn’t ready to believe me.”I didn’t say anything. I still didn’t understand.Mum sighed. She turned me around, put a hand on each of my shoulders and looked me in the eye.“It’s not really that simple. Your father got involved in sex when he was far too young to understand what was going on. Children that age are very vulnerable. I don’t think they did it deliberately but he was effectively brainwashed into thinking that sexual contact with young girls was okay.”Mum shuddered. “Not only okay but something – exciting. Your father says it’s as if a switch got turned on inside him and he can’t work out how to turn it off. He says he isn’t cured. He doesn’t. "God, Daddy, I'm such a brat! Poor Katie, she must feel just awful. I really am happy for her, and I really think it's a great idea. I would love to have Katie as a sister. It just seems like ... like we're forgetting about Cindi. I'm so happy around Katie. and yet it just feels like I should be missing Cindi and not being happy. When I heard we were going to adopt Katie, it just seemed we wouldn't need or remember Cindi anymore. I'm so sorry, I'm so silly, and now I've made a scene and Mom and Katie both probably hate me; Katie's so upset; I can feel how upset she is in my mind. And you have to listen to all this nonsense from me and I'm ruining your birthday weekend ... Daddy, is this what they call a relapse? Am I having a relapse? I don't want to go back to the way I was before. Please help me, Daddy!" she cried as she started sobbing again.I didn't know what to do. This was such a little thing, but it was so big to her."Honey, we don't have to adopt Katie right now. We don't have.
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